How Secrets Slowly Get Revealed (Part 2)
Danny stood in the doorway, Anna’s back to him. She was completely oblivious to the amused brows that were lifted high up as he watched her repeatedly mutter to no one in particular. Anna had always been the odd one of the family, the only one to have an imaginary friend when they were younger, and she had been seen too many times talking out loud to an empty room. To see her talking lowly to herself now weirdly roused the nostalgic of innocence.
“Seven points.. Seven.”
She sat on the floor in the art room downstairs, in the middle of wrapping the presents she had purchased that morning. It was a sight to see; receipts strewn all over the floor, scissors and rolls of Christmas paper by her side, and a pen nestled behind her ear. Not to mention the several neatly wrapped gift boxes two feet from her, stacked accordingly by shapes and sizes.
Her mother and Kathie were going to have a fit when they found out she had started without them. But the basketball game had ended earlier than planned and they were still at the movies with her niece and nephew when the foursome returned home.
The Celtics had lost to the Chicago Bulls by seven points. Seven points, she kept grousing under her breath. Such a lucky number that now made her insides shake with rage.
With a cautious step forward, Danny coughed into his closed fist and greeted her. “Hey, honeybee.”
Anna gasped, startled. “What the fu–hey! Get out!” She exclaimed, throwing herself over the bags to do her best at concealing them.
Danny covered his eyes and sniggered. “Well, now I know why you’ve gone into hiding. Aren’t you supposed to wait for Ma and Kath before you start wrapping?”
“Yes, but I needed something to cheer me up after that game and Harry’s too preoccupied playing Just Dance with Finn and Keri upstairs to distract me with sex.”
“EW.”
She continued without missing a beat, but her tone had transitioned into one that was a bit more upbeat, “The presents were calling to me. I was only going to wrap a couple, but alas once I started, I couldn’t stop. They’ll get over it.”
He chuckled. “So, what’d you get me?”
“Nothing,” she snapped, a scowl contorting her features. She ignored the tight ball of muscles that were bunching at her lower back, not moving an inch in case he was peeking through his fingers. He had always been the sneaky one, throwing everyone off by his quiet, introverted personality. But Anna was no fool.
“Yeah, right. I already saw the blue sweater.” Danny grinned wickedly.
Anna quirked a brow and retorted, “Who says it’s not for Finn or Gabe?”
He snorted. “Please.. We both know blue is my favorite color. And those assholes don’t look nearly as fabulous in it as moi.”
“Oh, yeah,” she began sarcastically, “It totally brings out your eyes.”
The grin on his mouth only widened further to annoy her. “How sweet of you to notice.”
Her lips pinched out into a pout, even though he was blind to her facial expressions. “Shut up. Where’s Gabe? I could use his expertise at tying the ribbons.”
“Upstairs trying to take Finn’s champ title.”
“I should’ve known. Did they tell you we lost?”
“Yep. Harry warned me about your brooding before I came down here. Said you’ve been in tears ever since the buzzer declared game over..”
“Bastard,” Anna murmured.
After the game, Harry had been not-so-discreetly chuckling with Keri and feigning sympathy while Anna engaged in a debate over the mishaps of some of the disastrous plays with Finn. He had tried to hold her hand in attempt to calm her down, but she kept waving it around while half-shouting in the car when she didn’t agree with something Finn had to say. Harry had given up halfway through the journey back to the Caro home and shared light chatter with Keri instead.
The way the arguing kept escalating in the car would make it appear as if the two siblings were on opposing teams, but Anna refused to admit defeat and Finn (annoyingly) accepted the loss. He was the type of fan that called them out when they didn’t play well. Anna was the type to make up excuses until she was blue in the face and placed false blame on the opposing team.
Her mood didn’t get any better when they arrived home. Finn had let it go, like he did with everything, and casually challenged Harry to a dance-off. But Anna always had a harder time letting things go–even petty things–and sitting around watching them have fun was agitating her.
The grumpy mood and easily agitated behavior puzzled even her, and as she trudged down the staircase, she had done the math and realized she was due for her period in about four days. That explained it.
“I can now see the fair warning was, in fact, much needed. I should’ve brought you a brownie or something to ease the pain. Are you still into those peach rings Mom used to fill your Valentine’s jar with?”
She rolled her eyes. “What do you want, Danny.. besides to piss me off.”
“Which is easily done, I might add. Especially when you’re in a mood.”
“Ha ha, very funny. Now, what do you really want?”
Danny dropped his hand, then obediently brought it back up a millisecond later when she shrieked.
“God, relax. I’m solely here to let you know me and the guys are going out tonight. Harry said he’d come with.”
“Okay. Where to?”
“Camby’s for a few drinks.”
“Okay,” she repeated, her brows furrowed together in confusion. It was strange, him coming down in search of her just to let her know they were going out that night. Harry would be coming down to tell her himself in a few minutes, she was certain of that. In fact, she was certain Danny knew of that. He had witnessed their dynamic long enough to know they kept each other in the know of their plans.
Something wasn’t right.
“Is that all?”
“Yep.”
“Okay…” Anna shrugged, but the suspicion was still there in her knitted brows. “Is crabbypants going, too?”
“Who? Luke?”
“Mhm.”
“Ha.. Yeah, surprisingly.” Danny wrinkled his nose, then added, “or not so surprising since we’re going to a bar. Have you guys talked yet?”
“Nope,” Anna said, making a popping sound with her lips. “I’ve been dodging it.”
“You don’t have to be scared, ya know. He’s still your brother and besides the ugly rage that makes the vein in his neck pop out, he’s completely harmless.”
“Oh god.. I used to be scared shitless when Dad used to get that pissed off. I swear the vein had a pulse that stared you in the face.”
“Thank god it was mostly towards Finn.”
Anna cringed, feeling for her other brother. “He really did get the brunt of it, didn’t he?”
“Yeah…” Danny sighed and rubbed his lips together. It was something he did when the emotion bubbled in his chest, threatening to come up.
If Anna could see his eyes, she knew they would be brimmed with tears.
“He would be hella proud of him now, though. He was before he…” He said, fading off before the ugly, gut-wrenching word could fall from his lips.
The silence stretched out while the unforgettable memory of witnessing their father’s final breath replayed. It was an open wound neither one knew how to heal.
From the outside, the scene was comical. Anna’s petite form thrown awkwardly over bags while being surrounded by the festive arts and crafts items and Danny’s hand shielding his eyes like a child. But inside, to them, the air was thick with grief.
Danny broke the silence after clearing his throat. “I’m sure Harry and Finn would’ve ended up sharing the brunt of it.”
Anna tearfully smiled, despite the shaky breath she took. Sniffling, she said a very soft, “yeah.”
“Things look serious between you and Prince Charming.”
“Please, don’t call him that,” she groaned. “But yes.. I guess you could say they’re serious.”
More than you know, Anna thought.
“Wedding bells serious?”
An image of the magical scenery of the beach as she slowly approached her groom flashed inside her mind, along with the distant sound of the waves crashing against the rocks in the ocean, and the birds flying high above the body of water. She could still bring herself back to that life changing September day. She often did.
It was her turn to rub her lips together, and her toes wiggled on their own accord as if they were remembering the warmth of the sand. It was killing her, not being able to blurt it out. For a fleeting moment, she thought about it, given he was the most likely to keep it a secret out of her siblings.
Or was he? He vowed to never lie to his husband, to never keep a secret. And if she knew Danny, he took his vows very seriously.
As did she.
“Gabe and Kathie haven’t stop competing for the Pippa position ever since that day we caught you via Skype.”
She laughed loudly. It felt good, really good, to let out a happy sound that came right from her belly, to go back to that time where they first found out about Harry’s identity.
“You laugh but I still have nightmares,” Danny joked. “So, you and Harry..in holy matrimony…”
“Danny..” Her mouth shut, then opened again. “I..”
“Harry and Annalisa, you have taken the vow to allow your undying love to conquer all. It is with great pleasure to pronounce you… husband and wife.”, came the faint echo of the officiator proclaiming their new titles.
“What is it?” Danny inquired after a moment of her opening and shutting her mouth. He couldn’t see her but he could hear the small, quick breaths she was taking. “Annalisa..”
“Yeah.. yeah.. Holy matrimony.. Someday,” Anna settled on saying instead.
Despite the confusion and concern etched across his forehead, he said, “I should probably tune up my big brother speech then. Scare the living daylights out of that boy if he ever hurts my baby sister..” Danny smiled when her soft laugh rang out, then he turned serious. “You should really talk to Luke, Anna.”
“I knooow..” She whined, childishly. “Can’t you do it for me? Please, please, please.”
“Ha! No can do, honeybee. I’m not the one he called a whore.. to my face, anyway. That’s all on you.”
“Blah, fine, I’ll talk to him later.”
“Or you could get it over with and talk to him now before the other Christmas Nazis get home and you utilize them as an excuse.”
Sighing, she thought it over. She really should follow his suggestion. That way, it would remove the cloud hanging over her and she could enjoy the rest of the weekend knowing she had done what she came here to do. If they ended up not being able to patch things, that would be okay. As long as she had tried. Or so she kept telling herself.
“Alright, Lawyer.. You’ve cornered me.”
“I like to think of it more like I convinced you rather than cornered. Or simply encouraged you to do the right thing.”
“You’re sounding more and more like Mom everyday.. Where can I find crabbypants?”
Danny tossed his head back, his fingers slightly slipping down his long nose. “Out back on the deck.”
“Thanks,” Anna grumbled. “Now get out. My back’s sore from being in the same position.”
“You should try out yoga. Really helps with stretching and flexibility.. and, ya know, holding a pose.”
Anna crumbled a small leftover piece of scrap paper and threw it at him, causing his laugh to echo around the room. When he turned to go, her voice called out. “Wait!”
Danny turned slowly, his hand still covering his eyes. The newly tone of suspicion was clear as day. He sucked in his bottom lip and hummed a reply.
“Earlier, was that your way of asking me if I wanted to come along or…?”
“I don’t recall asking you a question. It was more of a statement,” he obnoxiously corrected, not having to ask what she was talking about. He inwardly cursed, thinking he had distracted her enough to get out of there without question of any ulterior motives. “But.. yeah, sure.. you can come.. if you want to.”
The slow smile that was moving across his face and the shifting from foot to foot indicated he was formulating a plot to get out of them without having to admit guilt, and Anna’s eyes narrowed as she studied his antsy form.
“Daniel James Caro.. You came in here to snoop!”
Caught.
“Me? I would never…” He feigned innocence, but the slight falter when he stepped back and held onto the doorframe with his free hand told her he was anything but innocent.
“And now you’re trying to sneak out the fucking door.”
Danny erupted with humor, dropping his hand and opening his eyes to gaze at his sister. His cheeks were tinted with pink, evidence of his guilty conscious, and he had to blink a few times to adjust to the light.
It was enough to diminish her foul mood all together.
“I am going to kill you!”
Danny’s laughs only increased in volume. “Thanks for the lovely sweater, sis,” he rushed out, then bolted out the door.
Anna repeatedly called out his name with a few expletives from the floor, giggling when the sound of his boisterous laughs faded out as he ran upstairs.
————
As soon as Anna stepped out onto the open deck, she shivered. There was a light breeze coming through the trees that made up the acres of land in the backyard, and the cardigan sweater she had borrowed from her mother did nothing to keep the chill from reaching her bones. New England weather was something she had a love-hate relationship with.
She had been at the glass sliding door for a few minutes, studying the hunched over form that was unaware of the audience behind him. Puffs of smoke floated above him, dissipating before it could reach the bare branches of Autumn. Her eyes followed the white-grayish cloud, landing on the trees ahead. It had distracted her for a moment, the sweet memories of childhood where she used to run through an imaginary faraway forest easing the apprehension in her chest.
It was a time where their relationship wasn’t so strained, where she had never feared the rage inside of her brother. Where they had never spat such ugly, hurtful words at each other.
Those same woods held the memory of when she caught him and the other neighborhood kids sharing a joint. He had begged her not to tell, and she had threatened to for two weeks after they returned back to their temporary home in North Carolina whenever he refused to do her chores. But she had never told a single soul. Not even Ben when he questioned why Luke was the one giving the dog a bath when it was her turn to, or why she kept singing a kiddie song in his direction when they were caught bickering.
Anna desperately wished for that time back.
Trying a hand at a joke as the conversation starter, something they hadn’t done in what it felt like forever, she went with, “Aren’t you a bit old to be sneaking a joint in the backyard?”
Luke’s back went rigid at the sound of her hesitant voice, despite hearing her footsteps approach him, but he kept quiet.
“Mom’s going to kill you when I tell her what you do back here..”
“What are you, twelve?” Came his gravelly voice, his back still facing her.
Anna smiled. It amazed her how her brothers could be so different, yet shared many similarities.
“Do you want a hit?” Luke awkwardly asked.
“No, thanks.” Anna took two steps and sat beside him, folding her arms in a self embrace to keep warm. She leaned forward with her eyes straight forward, resting her arms on her knees and refraining from commenting how the peculiar smell burned her nose and irritated her itchy eyes.
Aside from the rustling of the fallen leaves that covered the grass and the slow, deep inhales of Luke smoking, it was silent.
Anna pondered again at how different this silence was with him than the one she shared with her oldest brother. It had been comfortable, even though sadness filled the air. Now, with a different kind of sadness surrounding the two, it was anything but comfortable.
Rocking back and forth, Anna searched for what to say next, not sure where to start or if she even wanted to dig deep yet. “Kathie tells me you’ve been taking some time off after completing that Henderson Road project. That must be weird for you since I’ve always known you to be a workaholic.”
“Sure,” he said after releasing the breath he had inhaled with smoke from between his lips.
“Going stir crazy yet?” The shrug she caught from the corner of her eye was the only response he gave her. “When do you go back to work?”
Inhale. “Tuesday.” Exhale.
“Me too,” Anna murmured, even though he probably didn’t care. He was too interested in the timed poisoning of his lungs with every inhale and exhale. Giving up on the small talk, she sat there listening to him quietly smoke beside for the next few minutes. She rocked back and forth and went back to studying the trees, recalling past times when her imagination ran wild.
A sigh broke her train of thought. She glanced over in his direction from the side of her eye and watched as he licked the pad of his thumb then tapped on the lit cherry. She cringed while he didn’t even flinch a muscle. “Ouch.“
Luke made a noise that sounded almost like a snort, producing a ziploc bag from the inside of his coat. Again, she silently watched him deposit the rolled up joint into the bag, wondering if he had picked up the fond habit again recently or if he had never quit.
When he stuffed the bag inside his jacket, she knew he was preparing himself for where the conversation would inevitably go. She was at a loss for words, though. There were things she wanted to say, speeches she had practiced for months and months when the boiling anger had subsided. And now was the time to recite those words. To out them and lift a weight off her chest. None of it seemed to want to come to mind.
Luke hadn’t smoked the whole thing, a clear indication he was ready to go ahead with this talk. Maybe he wanted to finally apologize, too. Maybe he wanted to make amends and move forward; maybe even ask for help in recovery. She hadn’t exactly turn to the same poison he had, but she could empathize with self-destruction.
Time kept ticking on and neither one made the notion to speak.
They sat there in silence for several long, agonizing minutes; an estranged sister and brother. The same frown. The same breathing pattern. The same stubbornness that prevented them from moving forward.
Until…
“I’m… sorry.”
…a whispered peace offering.
Anna’s surprised eyes darted to his, noting the cloud in his hazel orbs that stared back at her. She sucked in a breath, seeing him for the first time in a new light. His face was blotchy, lips chapped, and eyes red and puffy. As if he hadn’t slept in weeks, or possibly months. She could tell he was high as a kite, but no amount of drugs or liquor could conceal the pain and desperation that was behind his eyes. Their father’s eyes.
She had never seen him so tormented before.
“I’m sorry, too,” she softly whispered back.
Luke nodded, his expression still stony despite the reconciliation that was taking place. It was hard to make him crack a smile; it always had been even when they were kids. He had a hard shell, a way of protecting himself. Another trait their father passed down.
Anna slid an arm around his shoulders and scooted closer. “I love you, crabbypants.”
Luke flinched at the initial contact, but didn’t push her away. Instead, he replied back with a low, “love you, too.”
And that was it. That was all it took to mend fences. All was forgiven and soon forgotten. Neither one mentioned it again, nor did they think of it. It was a thing in the past, something that was put to rest.
Anna inhaled deeply, coughing when the remnants of the smoke tickled her throat. Then, in the lowest voice as to not disturb any invisible forces, she sang a tune that stirred up the humor in his soul.
“Puff the magic dragon…”
———–
Balls of tissues, pints of ice cream, and newly pedicured feet propped up on the coffee table is what Anna found when she scanned the room. Titanic was playing on the TV and two other pairs of tear-filled eyes were focused on the scene of Rose rushing into a room to free a cuffed Jack. Anna couldn’t watch, the film stirring up too many emotions that made her heart hurt too badly. The scenes of the massive crowd of people scurrying to safety that would never make it in the end and the elderly couple huddled together in bed, awaiting death in an embrace always traumatized her. It crushed her, severely.. and so she found herself glancing around the room and watching Kathie and Keri engrossed in the epic film.
Lucille and Rosemary had gone up to bed some time ago, neither one wanting to endure the hurt of witnessing Rose letting Jack go. They were the only two women there that had suffered the same loss.
It had been a nice girl’s night. The kids at sleepovers and the guys out drinking at the local bar. They had feasted on the leftovers from Thanksgiving, Rosemary preparing her special Turkey-giving sandwich that was fixed with every imaginable dish from the holiday. With stomach’s bloated with the delicious meal, they still had indulged in the Ben & Jerry’s and had some much needed girl talk.
Anna grew more fond of Keri as the night went on, picking up on similarities between them–and even her mother. Finn was searching for the perfect combination of his sister and mother, it seemed. She wondered if that was why it had taken him so long to settle down. The rest of the family had already accepted her, and even Luke found himself in a brief conversation about her time in Afghanistan. Finn had been beaming with pride as he looked on, a love he had never shown before shining brightly in his eyes. Anna hoped they would last.
Keri caught her eyes and flashed her a questioning smile. Anna shrugged innocently at being caught, then flitted back to the film on the television with flaming cheeks. The film had progressed to the parts where she would turn it off. She couldn’t very well do that in their presence.
Plucking off the cotton balls they had used in between her toes, she rose on her feet and whispered she would be back. Once she reached the kitchen, she pulled her cell out of her back pocket and quickly searched for the number.
Maggie picked up on the third ring. “Hey! What’s up?”
“Hey.. sorry it’s so late.. Did I wake you?”
“Pft, not at all.. You know I live the life of an owl.. Skip, on the other hand, is passed out like a light.”
“Yeah, not really surprised by that.. How’s my baby girl?”
Maggie snorted and rolled her eyes upward. “I swear with you two. Harry called me about two hours ago asking to speak to his little mama. He even had me bring the phone to her ear. To which she went ballistic hearing his voice–side note, he takes on a really unattractive voice when he speaks to her–and it took me fifteen bloody minutes to calm her the fuck down. By the way, rubbing underneath her armpit is the only way to do that. You have a weird dog. That’s what I’ve concluded after this whole experience.”
“Aw, Harry called?” Anna swooned.
“Seriously? Is that all you took from that rant?”
Anna laughed, walking over to the counter when an empty bottle of water caught her eye. “It sounds like you’ve got everything under control. So, she’s good?”
“Yes,” Maggie huffed, exasperatedly. “She’s fine. Chewing on one of those rope thingies.”
“I miss her so much.” She said, her voice trembling with emotion. Trying to keep herself in check, she focused on peeling off the label on the bottle, a distracting method she had used countless times before.
“Rude,” came her friend’s reply. “We’ve barely hung out since you came back from holiday. And when we do, you and Harry can barely keep your disgusting hands to yourself for more than a minute. Seriously, what’s up with you two? It’s gross and beginning to annoy me. Anyway, I need some girl time.”
“Mags, I’m not the only friend you have! You have a ton of girl friends for girl time.”
“I don’t!” Maggie argued, kicking her feet up on the couch while the preoccupied husky lay beside her on the floor. Truthfully, she loved dog-sitting for her friends, but damn it had been more work than she had signed up for. The puppy was sweet and very cute, but also had a stubbornness like steel–just like her parents. Not to mention too hyper during Maggie’s relaxing time.
“Beth, Liv, Kimberly, Fiona, Jenna..” Anna listed off.
“Alright, alright.. I get it. I have more friends than you do.”
A gasp tore from Anna’s mouth, but Maggie knew she wasn’t insulted by the laugh that seeped into her voice. “You bitch!”
“Just saying. Oh! No, Betsy! No, no, no!”
Anna’s back went straight and her nimble fingers paused. “What’s wrong? Is she okay?”
“Is she okay? I’ll tell you who is not bloody okay. My rug! Bad, bad girl, Betsy!”
“Aw, did my baby girl have an accident? She must miss her Mama. Let me talk to her.”
“Oh, my god. I’m hanging up.”
Anna opened her mouth to respond until her phone buzzed at her ear, notifying her of a message. She pulled the phone away and glanced down. Her eyes immediately grew in size and her breath caught in her throat.
“Fuck,” she muttered.
Maggie was calling her name, asking her what was wrong, rightfully freaking out although she was in another country. Anna was right there with her, panic rising in her chest and her head started to pound as she read the text message from Gabe over and over again.
YOU GOT MARRIED!!!???
She was going to kill her husband.
Wild Winter's Day 